One Month of Blessings

This study abroad experience conjures up a feeling that I'm none too thrilled about ending.
I don't want to give up this crazy feeling of being somewhere completely new and actually making it.

Don't get me wrong; I will be thrilled to go home, and miss it all terribly, between my family and Eric and cold weather and football coming. But here's the thing. I know that I have grown more and experienced more in the past month than I have in the past 3 years at home. I'm somewhere unique from anyone else in my family, doing things independently and doing them well. I don't always feel like I've got that power at home.

Last weekend I went on a surfing trip. I signed up for this weekend during my orientation in Cairns a few weeks ago, right when I got to Australia. I couldn't believe how far away it sounded, and I had a sneaking suspicion that I would be on the next flight home anyway at that point, so what did it matter if I put my name down on the list? When the weekend came, I packed my small backpack with a knot in my stomach. We honestly looked like some bizarre cult as we waited for nearly 2

0 minutes in the dark for the surf bus to show up to take us to the beach south of Byron Bay.

It's odd, because as I look back on it and tell people about it, it sounded like a pretty lousy weekend. Three quarters of the instructors were crazy, there was a ton of alcohol involved (not my cuppa tea), and the weekend might have been better spent doing homework and the insane amount of projects I've got. All these things considered however, I looked at my pictures Sunday night upon my arrival home and got a knot in my stomach again- only this time, I wanted to go back, I missed the beach and the instructors and the atmosphere of the place. I missed the newness and the joy I felt when I accomplished something (i.e. surfing and being presented with something outside my own comfort zone.) 

Skyping with Eric brought these thoughts out. I think what I'll call it is a gut feeling of blessedness. Is it wrong for me not to want these feelings to end? How long will this feeling last?

As an interesting side note, these thoughts are coming to me as my one month Australian anniversary hits. I wonder if anyones ever tried to make a Tim Tam cake....

So they like their Foster's...

... but it's okay, because I am simply in love with their bikkies (Aussie slang for biscuits, the Aussie word for cookies.) I would have Tim Tams every meal if I could. 

Of course, there is more to this country than their delightful chocolat

e-covered-chocolate-biscuit cookies.  I have fed kangaroos, held koalas and have swum in the Great Barrier Reef. I have registered for classes, hopped the 750 bus to the pitiful shopping center in Mudgeeraba and have played house, shopping and doing laundry, cooking, baking, and picking out wine for dinner like I know what I'm doing. I have even discovered what books I need for classes and told Jessica that I got a tattoo. (I didn't.)

The only thing I haven't really truly done is venture out into the country to meet people and to explore. I'm telling myself not to worry, that I'm not a recluse and I

 just need to get settled- I've only been here 4 days- but the truth is that I am scared. I'm a little frightened of my inexperience at the bar scene or with large groups people that I don't really know. I've never drank outside my family's table, nor have had the desire to. I am not over here to meet guys or to party, I'm here to study and get a new perspective of the world in which I live. 

Here is my promise to myself: I will get out, I will explore and grow, but I will not change the person that I am. 

Boy that feels good.

For Casey and Caroline:

On the plane window!